FALLING UPSTAIRS

The Joy Between the Leap and the Splat

Failing Upstairs: The Joy Between the Leap and the Splat [Manuscript in Progress]

What started as a memoir became something else.

As I wrote, I realized I wasn't interested in simply telling the story of my life, and I wasn't interested in writing another book that promised all the answers. Instead, I found myself asking a different question: How do we find our way back to the person we were always meant to become?

Failing Upstairs is an evolving blend of memoir and self-help that explores creativity, failure, ambition, mental health, and the often winding road toward joy. Through stories of filmmaking, teaching, psychosis, family, and the pursuit of an acting career, I examine what happens when our dreams don't unfold the way we imagined, and why that might be exactly what we need.

This is an early draft, and like the journey it explores, it continues to evolve. Rather than offering a formula for success, the book is an invitation to experiment, reflect, and embrace the imperfect path forward. In many ways, I'm writing my own self-help book in public, hoping that by finding my own direction, readers might discover a little more of theirs as well.

A young girl with curly hair smiling at the camera in a room with a dark background.
Young woman with short dark hair, wearing a blue denim jacket with striped cuffs and a backwards baseball cap, standing against a patterned rug or blanket with geometric designs.
Young woman with short dark hair, wearing a blue denim jacket with striped cuffs and a backwards baseball cap, standing against a patterned rug or blanket with geometric designs.
A young person with long dark hair, wearing a red T-shirt and shorts, sitting on the floor holding a black and white cat. In the background, there is a wicker chair with a patterned cushion, a window with blinds, and a potted plant.
A woman with long reddish-brown hair and a girl with short dark hair sitting together in an indoor setting with wooden bleachers in the background.
A woman with long reddish-brown hair and a girl with short dark hair sitting together in an indoor setting with wooden bleachers in the background.
A young person with light skin, dark hair, and a slight smile, wearing a white shirt and a dark necktie with small patterns.
A man with short dark hair wearing a brown puffy jacket and a striped shirt sits on the ground inside a garage, holding a ginger cat on his lap. The garage has shelves with various tools and supplies, and a partially open wooden door letting in natural light.
A young boy with dark hair, wearing a striped T-shirt, sitting on a bed with a floral bedspread, in a room with a brick wall, a small television, and a wooden dresser with items on top.
A young boy with short, dark hair smiling outdoors at dusk or dawn, with palm trees and cars in the background.

“Nothing happened the way I planned. Almost everything happened the way it needed to.”

— Falling Upstairs, J.T. Chaiyakam